Teach Me How To Wank
by eatcatbuffet
Summary: "How do girls wank?" On a drunk night out, anything can go wrong. Sasuke and Hinata misunderstand Naruto's question. Hinata wonders how boys do it, after all it can't be that simple? SasuHinaNaru Seme Sasu Suke Hina Uke Naru
1. Misunderstanding of the Horn

**Quick Author's Note:** (Okay, now it's kinda LONG)  
><em>I think that I've always already wanted to write something like this before. My desire for a dominatrix Hinata in a NaruHina, and my love for a complete uke Naruto in a SasuNaru has kinda made this into a kinky orgy full of my half-assed comedy. There's also a bit of Fangirl-bashing since it's Sasuke.<em>**  
>FOR ALL READERS! If you don't know certain words, it's best if you asked me in a PM. Also, can someone explain to me what 'toss your cookies' means?<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Misunderstanding of the Horn<strong>

**(Sasuke)**

It was a cold night. "Alright everyone! Up to the next nightclub! _Wee heee_!" Sakura shouted to the big group. She laughed in a way that suggested that she DIDN'T need to go to any more nightclubs for the rest of the night. Sasuke rolled his eyes at her. Maybe it wasn't so cold outside and he was just imagining it.

As the group trudged on, he noticed that Naruto and Hinata were talking a lot with each other, even though they sometimes slurred their words.

He didn't bother look at the others, he already knew that the fatass was stuffing his face, the lazybones hadn't even shown up, the skinny blonde was complaining to Sakura about how she looked in clothes, the mute was silent and at the back of the group and dog breath was proudly boasting to everyone.

He couldn't give a rat's arse about how the boy had once saved a mystical princess called Shiyomaya and that she'd made out with him and how she offered for him to be her bodyguard and live in the temple for the rest of his life. He made sure to trip the Inuzaka when he wasn't paying attention.

Kiba let out a strangled yell and bumped into Sakura, who in turn fell onto the street's cobbles with Kiba on top of her. His teammate started bawling that the muttboy had snapped her ankle. Everyone started crowding around both of them, whispering and pointing at a few random body parts.

Naruto and Hinata weren't paying attention. He may just as well go with them and leave the noise.

Naruto laughed loudly and grabbed his and the girl's hands. He started marching them over to the nearest bar his hazy eyes could find. Sasuke cynically eyed the hand holding his wrist in a slack grip, waving his arm around as if it were a toy. He saw Hinata look at him and roll her eyes at the blond. His lips curled ever so slightly upwards. Maybe the girl wasn't so bad as he'd thought in the past.

Hinata decided buoyantly that SHE would show them a good place to go, so now they were being -gently- dragged towards a nightclub on the other side of town. She sure was smiling a lot. Most likely 'cos Naruto was spending time with her. Sasuke smirked. She sure did have nice assets. It was a good thing that she'd left that silly jacket at home.

She dragged them over to some rundown shitplace that made him raise an eyebrow. The girl giggled and pointed at the sign, a rather rude swearword graffitied onto it in Naruto's handwriting. Sasuke reasoned that that's why she liked the place.

Really, she was obsessed with the damn blond.

She then pointed to another part of the bar, showing a caricature of himself with the words 'stupid bastard' sprawled all over it. Naruto laughed while he growled and gave both the evil eye. He pulled the dumb blond and crazy girl into the bar by their wrists, grumbling all the while. He seated them down by a deserted corner and slauntered over to the bartender, ordering three plain beers.

He went and sat down next to Naruto and Hinata. They seemed to be in the middle of an animated conversation. Hinata was gesturing with genuine enthusiasm. "-and then Kiba tripped over Kurenai-sensei's wire trap and then he fell face first into the seven metre deep hole! And at the bottom of it Shino's bugs had left excrements behind! It was so funny, Akamaru wouldn't go near him for a while!" She laughed loudly. Naruto chuckled before shooting Sasuke a look. "What are excrements?" Hinata laughed louder.

"Shit." He sat down next to Naruto, Hinata sat opposite them around the circled table. Naruto laughed. Sasuke blinked at Hinata as she started telling more stories about her teammates' blunders. He didn't know that she could be so, ... sociable.

"Isn't Kiba the one that looks like he's got a permanent hard?" Sasuke asked in a neutral tone. Naruto froze before his drunkness made him laugh hysterically. Hinata stared at him. "Kiba the Horny Bastard? Yeah, that's the one." Both his and Naruto's eyebrows rose to new heights. He'd never heard her swear, yet alone act like... Like _him and Naruto_.

"One of our clients's guardians threatened to sue him because he tried to hump their daughter's leg." Naruto laughed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes as he slapped his leg. Now that Sasuke actually looked, Naruto had nice legs. They were long and strong, ready to shift into a jumping position at any moment's time. Naruto was a good sprinter when it came to speed missions.

The bartender himself came over and gave them their drinks, winking at Hinata and exchanging greetings with each other. He wondered if she went here a lot.

"Did you ever catch him doing it?" Naruto asked, a few chuckles escaping his mouth.

Sasuke nearly spit out his beer. Frothy foam trailed down his chin, making it look like he had rabies, as Naruto politly told him in a loud voice. Naruto recieved a big whack to the head for his remark. A few drunken patrons had turned in their seats to have a look at him.

"Catch him doing what?" Hinata asked, taking a gulp of her cider. "You know, ..." Naruto faltered, eyes uneasy. Sasuke noticed that they flickered to him for a second before looking back at the black haired girl. "_masturbating_." Naruto seemed so shy that he said it in a whisper. A cherry pink blush coated his sweaty cheeks.

Hinata also nearly spewed her drink but managed to gulp at the last second, pulling off a big coughing fit. Sasuke reached out and thumped her on the back a few times. Once she'd done her eyes found his own. She gave a small smile. "Thanks." Sasuke grunted and looked away, his face in a scowl, trying to hide any trace of a blush. He hoped that she didn't turn out to be a fan of his too.

"But Hinata..." Naruto persisted, leaning forwards, eyes curious and mouth in a wicked grin that Sasuke knew very well. It was the type of look the blond would get before something outrageously rude was sprayed over the Hokage mountain.

"Did you ever catch him?"

Sasuke sighed and cuffed him around the head, making him lurch forwards. "Hey!" He still had to beat manners into Naruto, even when Sakura wasn't there. This was _her_ damn job, damnit!

Hinata looked reproachful. She was looking up at something and her head was tilted to the side. "Well, ... There WAS this one time.."

Sasuke dropped his drink.

Naruto gasped and leant even forwards, letting the round table dig into his ribs in his eagerness to hear her story.

Hinata looked at both of them, her face shiny and a faraway look in her eyes. Sasuke blinked. He thought that he knew that look. Sakura sometimes complained about it whenever he thought of his old clan.

"We were on a solo mission from Kurenai, you know, team bonding..." He and Naruto nodded automatically, knowing Kakashi's evil survival trips.

"It was just me, Kiba, Shino and Akamaru. We'd been travelling all day and so we were all exhausted by the end of the day." She paused, seemingly enjoying telling part of her story.

"Shino kept complaining that Kiba and Akamaru STANK, worse than the soldier energy drinks." Naruto laughed. Hinata smiled.

"What Shino didn't bother tell me was that Kiba was in heat."

Naruto froze and turned pale.

Sasuke was a statue.

Hinata leant back in her chair and took a large swig of her cider, looking up at the ceiling. "In the middle of the night I woke up to find Kiba rubbing against my leg." Naruto gasped, then realised the hilarity of it all and burst out laughing.

Hinata chuckled. "I Juuken'd him the hell outta the tent, Kiba and Shino now share a tent and I sleep in a separate one! Kurenai was furious!" Hinata laughed, Naruto's laughter mixing with her own.

"You should've been there! She put him under a genjutsu where he thought that his dick had dropped off! It was hysterical!" Naruto's laughter redoubled. Sasuke couldn't help but chuckle. Hinata started mimicking Kiba.

Naruto fell out of his chair.

Sasuke laughed at him.

The bartender came along and placed another round of beers in front of them, tutting when he saw Sasuke's shattered beer glass on the floor. He didn't remember the drink slipping through his fingers. Hinata gave a strangled yell when she noticed that Naruto was still on the floor and that his arm had glass splinters in them.

He grabbed the damnable blond by the armpits and hoisted him up. The girl grabbed their drinks and moved to a more enclosed area. Naruto, being the drunken twerp that he was, mistook Sasuke for his chair and sat on his lap.

Sasuke didn't like that. Not one bit. "Get the fuck off me, Uzumaki." The dumbass laughed and staggered off lightly, wobbling over to the new table where Hinata was downing her cider. Sasuke mumbled something to the bartender, who was now on his hands and knees, mopping up the mess that was spilled beer and glass. He meant to say 'cheers' but what came out was more of an upset stomach growl working it's way up his throat.

He slapped one hand over his mouth and stumbled over to the girl and the dumbass. One day, he swears that he'll have to pick Naruto outta jail for sexual harassment while drunk. Wait. That didn't make any sense. He growled. Uchihas weren't supposed to be seen drunk. _Ever_. He tapped his head, slurring his words. "Stupid Uchiha, stupid Uchiha..." The dumbass and ditzy girl were staring at him.

He abruptly stopped when he realised that Uchihas weren't allowed to publicly make fools of themselves.

Naruto suddenly burped and broke the silence. Hinata laughed and pulled his arm closer. She started picking the glass splinters out with her chakra. "Say Hinata," Naruto slurred. He looked like he was about to collapse. "How do girls wank?"

Hinata and Sasuke froze.

Sasuke, who was taking a gulp of his new beer, dropped it again. (The fat bartender gave him a warning glare and gave him a replacement plastic cup)

Hinata's face turned pink and shiny at the same time. She must have misheard him somehow. Sasuke frowned. He wasn't sure if he too had heard the blond properly.

"_Wh-what_ did you say?" Hinata said.

Naruto smiled in a ditzy way and seemed to be waving around on the spot. His eyes were also half open.

"How do you wank?" The idiot giggled.

Damnit, so he did hear him right.

But something in Sasuke's brain made him stop. —_Wait, wait, wait!—_ A cool voice said. —_What if he wants YOU to show him how to wank?—_ Sasuke frowned. He really was drunk. Very, very, VERY drunk. So drunk that some kind of butch voice was talking to him in his own head. Uchihas didn't have imaginary voices in their heads!

Somehow, in his drunken state of mind, Sasuke appealed to the idea of wanking. He wanted to show Naruto how to wank. His eyes flickered over to the black haired girl. She seemed to be stumbling over her own thoughts. Naruto didn't seem to mind her stutters and shocked silence. Instead, he leant in, mere inches from her face.

"So Hinata, what's it like?" He whispered, Sasuke saw Hinata's fringe move slightly from his breath. Damn, the dumbass was about to give everyone a live porn show in the making!

Naruto continued his hot assault. "Do you wanna bed—mumbrugh!" Sasuke smothered Naruto's husky voice and kept his hands firmly pressed over his mouth. He struggled with him as the blond waved his arms and legs around as if he were a fucking marionette.

He stood up and grabbed Hinata wrist and hoisted her to her feet. He then proceeded to drag both drunk idiots out of the bar. The bartender yelled something about a pay check, but Sasuke couldn't be fucked to go back and find out what he was saying.

He ran through streets and council houses, finally arriving at his house near the Uchiha compound.

He dumped both at his doorstep and searched for his keys. —_Hey, how about that wanking?_— The voice said. Sasuke didn't bother eliminate it, he left the sentence linger around his mind.

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><p><strong>END<br>**_So, .. um, he he. Naughtyness coming up in the next chapter._ _Sex, grinding and magical shoe vanish. Enjoy. if you don't want porn, don't read porn. Or yaoi._  
>Words: 2,198<br>Next Chapter: **The Night**


	2. The Night

**Teach Me How To Wank  
>An:<strong> _I'm not a SasuHina fan, so I don't really know if this'll work out. And again, if you don't understand a word in here, PM me. Oh, and __**REVIEW! :3**_

_Magic shoe vanish at the beginning :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: The Night<strong>

**(Sasuke)**

He pushed both of them into his house. They were giggling like madmen and chanting old shinobi slogans. That, or they were slurring some kind of crude football cry. They all were with the amount of alcohol they'd consumed. He turned his back to them and started fumbling for his set of keys. Hinata and Naruto were now making a new set of sounds. Low growls and mewls, kisses and touches. He rammed the key into the lock and locked the front door. With a jerk he turned around to find Naruto's hands tangled in Hinata's hair and her lips were meshing against the blond's. Hinata seemed to be leading him through it.

Naruto and Hinata must've discovered that they had some puppy love for each other.

He growled and pulled them apart. They both gave him angry reactions, hissing at him and wanting to get closer to the other.

He dragged them off to his room, dropping the girl and dumping her at his door entrance. The door was left open. He pulled the blond over to his bed. He picked him up and threw him onto it. Naruto sprung up from the mattress with cat like reflexes and growled at him. Hinata groaned from her place on the floor. Naruto was on his hands and knees, ready to pounce at him.

Sasuke grunted and tackled the blond, pinning him down and staring at his defiant eyes. He mumbled something about teaching the blond how to wank before devouring his mouth. Naruto's eyes widened as he felt his jaw being widened and a rough tongue exploring his mouth. He struggled against Sasuke before he felt a hand cop a feel around his groin section.

The blond started moaning into his mouth, his free hand holding the back of his scalp with painful intent. Apparently the girl didn't like it because he was shoved off of Naruto and pushed off the bed.

Naruto crawled over to her, making purring sounds of appreciation. He started kissing her, one hand going under her shirt. They rolled around, Hinata mewling under him as he groped her curvy waist. They rolled again, this time the black haired girl was on top. She started feeling around his hips as well, fumbling with his buttons. She bit down when she couldn't get access to his underwear, making Naruto arch up and moan pleasurably.

He didn't like watching that from the corner of the bed, so he jumped up and stood on the mattress, falling down to his knees and pulling Hinata's ankles towards him. She let out a terrified whimper and she was dragged away from her love, her white eyes wide.

He pulled her onto his lap, pushing her down and holding both her wrists over her head with one of his hands, showing her how strong he was against her futile writhing and squirming.

He noticed how her shirt was pulled up so that he could see how her curvaceous waist moved from side to side. Her trousers had slipped down slightly with her playing with Naruto and now they showed off the top of her hip bones. His legs were between her bent ones. Her breasts were going up and down as she heaved in deep breaths of air. Her first few buttons had been undone by Naruto, showing off a lot of cleavage and a peek of a purple bra. Her cheeks were a light red and her eyes worked well with the black eyeliner she had on.

Naruto growled loudly as his and the girl's eyes met. She seemed to calm down. Her eyes became heavy lidded and she smirked at him.

He felt a dangerous growl from at the back of his throat. How dare she try to seduce him! He'd beat her into submission!

His hand dashed out and pulled her shirt buttons loose, tearing her top down the front. She and Naruto shrieked.

Naruto roared and leapt at him, anger in his eyes.

Naruto got pushed back against the bed frame, his left arm and the girl's right arm got tied together by her torn shirt. Sasuke advanced upon the girl, kissing her roughly, hands clawing up her sides, copping her breasts, rubbing her hips, making Naruto see that she was HIS and that he should give up on her and go to _him_ instead.

Naruto couldn't go on any longer and broke free of his rope and pounced at both of them, kissing and feeling both with overwhelming emotion. Sasuke grunted and pulled off Naruto's ugly jacket, throwing it somewhere, not giving a fuck where it would end up. His own shirt was pulled off by Hinata, vengeance in her eyes and wicked smirk on her lips. In turn Naruto unclipped her bra strap with a clawed finger, making her squeak in surprise.

Sasuke shoved Naruto against the bed frame, fiercely mouthing against him, making the other submit weakly with moans and twitches. He pulled off his trousers and started rubbing him, grinding against his smaller body with lustful vigour. Naruto moaned and closed his eyes, rolling around and ending up under him with his legs tangled. Hinata slipped in, her trousers also gone. Naruto mewled and made weak movements to get over to the girl, short for breath.

Sasuke growled, he wasn't about to let Naruto go, not after he beat him into a permanent submission.

Oh.

He tried swatting away Hinata as she nibbled at his earlobe. She giggled and shook her head as she gave his cheek a quick lick. Naruto gave a quick laugh before he froze.

Wha?

Ah.

God that was hot.

Hinata had managed to wedge her way between him and the blond, planting her body over Naruto's. She had pinned his hips down with her knees, one hand stroking his whiskers. Her lips were doing the same to his earlobe, nibbling away, (she was using the same technique that she'd done to him!) and she was sometimes rasping kinky words into his ear. Her other hand had slipped under his boxers and was rustling about, a lump in his underwear. Naruto had a glazed over look in his eyes and his lips were shiny and parted. His panting erratic, a blush on his face. His back was arched up and he was supporting himself on his elbows. Naruto moaned loudly.

"And this ..." Hinata panted softly into his ear.

"Naruto," He (Sasuke) tensed, ready to jump either of them.

" ... is how you wank."

Fuck, that was _so_ unbearably hot.

Hinata definitely owned the trousers in THAT relationship.

Sasuke smirked at them. They weren't paying attention again. He'd teach them a lesson.

He pushed Hinata sideways, pushed Naruto over her, and lastly he grabbed Naruto's boxers and yanked them down to his knees. Naruto and Hinata were making distressed kitten sounds, pawing at each other in their tangled mess. Naruto gasped and started squirming when his legs were spread by Sasuke. He had to smirk at that, seeing as the blond was about to do the same to the black haired girl.

Hinata growled menacingly at him, making him abruptly let go of the blond's thighs. "Naruto, ...!" Her underwear was also pulled down before she was roughly taken by the drunk blond. Fuck, _**everyone**_ was drunk. He was drunk, and he was about to fuck Naruto into next week Monday. He let Naruto sink into Hinata before he dared spread his legs again.

Naruto, pretty much immobile, cried out when he slammed into him. Hinata, being the one on the end, felt all of the thrust power, arching up and screaming in pleasure. He pushed Naruto down and roughly kissed her, one hand touching her left breast. Naruto whined in discomfort and started kneading her other breast. Hinata whined and thrust up, commanding Naruto for more. Sasuke smirked and bucked his hips, fucking him at a faster rate.

Soon he and Naruto were rocking back and forth, both nearing their climaxes. Naruto was bent over and had his arms wrapped around Hinata, her hands running through his short spikes as she rolled her tongue around the inside of his mouth. He himself though, was feeling both of them, touching Naruto's muscles and abdomen, tracing patterns over Hinata's stomach and thighs.

He gave one final last shove before he groaned and released into Naruto's ass. Naruto yelped and yelled something colourful at him before he came into Hinata.

Once it was all done, he watched Naruto pull out with a shudder, complaining with a groan that he too should 'get the fuck outta me'. Sasuke growled and bent him over and shoved in deeper than before, the blond moaned and clutched the sheets, his shoulders shivering. After Naruto had learnt his lesson he released him with a snicker, quickly smacking his derrière for extra leisure.

Hinata giggled madly, climbing over him and the blond, nestling between them on the mattress. Sasuke smirked at her, pushing her over the blond and dragging him to the middle. She purred and quickly touched Naruto all over before jumping over the blond and pouncing onto Sasuke.

He groaned at her energy and pinned her down, about to show the stubborn chick that she should learn her place. Big hawk comes first, THEN comes the little chick!

He bit her earlobe, fingers trailing her stomach. She leant away from him, uncomfortable. He growled and bucked his hips at her. She gasped and arched in his hold. He proceeded to pleasure her, he was going to wipe that small smirk off of her face. Naruto was HIS! Hinata growled back, saying that she's always loved Naruto and that she deserved him. "Fuck you!" Sasuke yelled, shoving himself into her, pinning her wrists down and followed it up by fucking her senseless.

Naruto tried shoving him off, even kicking him, but he wouldn't let go of the girl. Not before he fucked her till kingdom cum and back. He had to show her who was in charge! No way was some Hyuga chick coming between him and Naruto and stealing him away. Naruto belonged to HIM!

After he came into her, he realised that he'd actually enjoyed doing it. Hinata seemed to have shut up. She was rather breathless now, her voice hoarse and her face red in pleasure. Slowly, he pulled out, waiting for an outbreak from either her or the blond.

Surprisingly, she gave him a small peck on the cheek before crawling towards Naruto as if she were Bambi on a fucking ice show.

Sasuke grunted and picked her up by the waist, ignoring her shallow gasp and small struggle. He crawled -the right way- to Naruto, smirking at the concerned look in his blue eyes. He set her down next to the blond, himself on his other side.

Naruto sighed irritably and pulled a duvet over them all, kicking him under the sheets, growling something, he repeated it again when Sasuke said he didn't hear. "I said; -I- own Hinata, YOU don't!" Hinata purred and nuzzled up closer to the blond, who slung an arm around her and pulled her closer to his side. Sasuke laughed lightly. He pointed over to the black haired girl. "You got it wrong Naruto, _she_ tops _you_." Naruto spluttered and turned red while Hinata giggled.

"And I own both of you. You're **MINE**. I own Naruto _and_ Hinata." He whispered in a low voice, his eyes spinning red for a brief second. They both jumped when they were pinched under the covers.

He soon fell asleep, his little kit on his left and his spunky chick with attitude on his far left.

**Xxxxxxxx**

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><p><strong>END<br>**_Sasuke-pimp in the house :D  
><em>Words: **2,009** D:  
>Next Chapter: <strong>What The Fuck?<strong>


	3. What The Fuck!

**Author's Note:** _I'm not really sure what to say, … So I'll just say that I want to write long stories, but lately I'm finding it really hard to. :(_

Big thanks to_** Summerss, Hello131, The-Twinkle-In-Your-Eye, Happy Bryce, StarDustX, deadrose42, lovie345, REiNa HExE, escalypse, Kanarekana, HiN4-cH4n, animegirl19962011**__ and __**friendlyforever**__! :D Thank you all so much for the hits, subscriptions and reviews!_

_**Summerss**__, I'll try to send you all of my scraps. If I have any left TT_TT my parents threatened to delete the apps on my iPod, where I store the documents. Oh yeah!_

Wanking = Jerking off = Masturbating

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><p><strong>Chapter 03: What The Fuck?<strong>

**(Naruto)**

Naruto felt numb. Like, _really _numb. He must be dreaming. Of course, he's definitely, 100%, absolutely, blah, blah, blah, having a wet dream. Why else could he feel soft, squishy mounds of BREAST pressed against his chest? He breathed in deeply, not wanting to open his eyes in case he woke up from his glorious dream.

The girl smelled like flowers for some reason. Nice perfume, he guessed.

He smiled, breathing in deeply again, feeling the breasts on his chest rise up with his body and fall back down on him. It was a heavenly feeling. His stomach growled, wanting his breakfast; instant ramen. He rarely bought cereal. Hmmm, big breasts cupping bowls of raaaaaaaameeeen...…

He shuddered, remembering Sakura-chan's evil lecture about ramen and it's contra's. 'more spots, greasy oily skin, greasy hair, shunted growth and it's very fattening'.

Oh. The boobs on his chest were also moving. Up, and slowly down. God that felt nice. He felt a slender arm snuggle closer to him.

Wait.

There was another, slender —yet calloused- hand was resting on his thigh, it's long, nimble fingers brushing against his man part. He got aroused, thinking of the mysterious girl on top of him, touching his manhood.

Hmm.

But the angle of the hand was completely wrong. The hand that snuggled closer to him was on his right side, and he could feel her thumb against his nipple. Yet the hand that was brushing against his inner thigh was on his right side as well. This other hand seemed to also be a right hand. Now Naruto started freaking a bit. Two girls? The most action Naruto ever got was a hand job and a nasty hickey from a hooker that Jiraiya had set up. And making out with his sexy no jutsu clones.

Wait a second! He knew that hand!

Slender, calloused, nimble, long fingers. Good for throwing kunai at difficult angles, hardened by punching strong jaws -his jaw-, supple for fast as lightening jutsu hand seals. A hand that he had had to bandage many times before and would have to continue doing so as well.

_Mdhtsbajawqklllaasrgh!_

This was the fucking hand of Uchiha -_fucking_- Sasuke!

He let out a cry that sounded like he was a horde of fucking _wookie_instead of a seventeen year old boy filled to the brink with hormones.

Chaos.

The mysterious girl lounging over him didn't disappear, instead, she kinda solidified. (Was that even a word?) She was REAL. Naruto tried sitting up, but he did it too quickly, yellow and white blotches covered his eyesight and he let out another high pitched yelp as pain shot up his spine. Why did it feel like he'd been bulldozered when he sat up?

The hand on his thigh vanished and a loud _THUMP_! issued from his right.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, still blinded by the blotches obscuring his eyesight. "What the fuck did you do to me?"

The girl sleeping on him suddenly wasn't so sleepy anymore, because her lovely squishy boobs pushed against his and suddenly lifted up, not going back down anymore. She let out a shriek of her own and pulled away from him, her features still hidden from his eyes. Another loud _THUMP_! issued from the left side of the bed, where another muffled shriek came from.

The covers that previously protected Naruto's dick from the morning sun were whisked away when the girl fell off the side of the mattress.

A groggy, ice queen, bastard emerged from the right corner of the bed, coming face to face with the sight of a naked Naruto's privates.

His black eyes widened and both boys let out a yell.

Naruto grabbed the closest thing to him -which was a big fluffy pillow with -his- drool markings on it- and covered his groin with an embarrassed yelp. He felt very, embarrassed, no fuck- ashamed, -wait, why'd he be ashamed?-, red in the face, like Hinata? Fuck, fuck, fuck it! Stupid bastard!

He threw another pillow at the bastard's face. The force of the thrown pillow hit the bastard straight in the face, making him fall over in his bleary morning state of mind.

*Begin shouting match!*

"What the fuck Sasuke?" Naruto yelled, his face surely bright red from embarrassment. Sasuke, his own teammate, saw his dick!

"Why the fuck are you in my house? What happened last night?" Sasuke bellowed back, slamming his fist on the mattress.

"I don't know!" Naruto shouted, blue eyes screwed shut in anger and embarrassment. "Maybe you put Rohypnol in my drink! Or Rupees! I dunno!"

Sasuke let out a roar and jumped up and tackled Naruto, completely naked. Naruto in turn let out a yell of shock and was pinned to the edge of the mattress, his head dangling over the side. The only thing that stopped their groins grinding against each other was the fluffy white pillow with (Naruto's) drool markings that he'd stuffed there to cover up his privates. The bastard's head was resting against his chest. His mouth was right next to his nipple that the girl had touched. He blushed. Fuck him! Just as he was about to let out a very nasty word, a subtle gasp came from next to his ear.

He leant around to see the mysterious girl. His blotchy starry-eyed-ness had disappeared long ago and now he could finally make out who he'd ended up in bed with.

Pitch black hair cascaded down her shoulders, bouncing down the white sheets that covered her breasts. A finely trimmed fringe shadowed her pure white eyes, black rims captivating her pearly orbs. Sasuke's duvet was wrapped around her body like a towel, the knot looked like it was about to burst from her full boobs. The duvet was partly see-through, so Naruto could just about make out her naked skin underneath. (but only if he squinted) Hyuga Hinata's cherry red lips parted as she gazed at both of them in what seemed like wonder.

"What happened last night?" She said in shock.

Naruto nearly exploded.

"I SHAGGED -_YOU_- LAST NIGHT?"

*Commence shouting match.*

Less than five minutes later, with a few bruises and a severely downed ego, Naruto was sat at the edge of the king-size bed with still only a pillow covering his privates. The ice-bitch also only had a pillow covering himself, which at least soothed some of his damaged pride. Hinata sat next to the bed frame, completely covered. He guessed that she got the covers 'cos she was a girl.

He couldn't understand why they had to talk naked, instead of putting on their clothes and then talking. —_Maybe because if things go okay, the two vampires get to fuck you again_.— Kyuubi purred from behind his cage. His voice was low, in a kind of purry growly growl. /_Piss off Kyuubi._/ Naruto retorted. To shut the bloody fur ball out, he reviewed what had happened.

They'd -him and Hinata- had figured out that they'd been fucked straight into the next fucking century by the one and only Uchiha bastard. Naruto absently rubbed his butt, wincing as a sharp spike of PAIN rushed up his thighs and spine. He and Sasuke also found out that Hinata wasn't as shy as she seemed, as she pointedly pointed out that no-one can be shy for five years if they had Inuzaka Kiba in their team.

No wonder she'd called him a horny bastard last night at the bar.

!

"The bar!" Naruto yelled, shocked. Hinata and Sasuke gave him gobsmacked looks. Hinata started putting the pieces together. "The bar," She breathed out, those cherry red lips parted again. Naruto turned his neck so as to stop being fascinated with her pretty mouth. "That one damn bar that the dumbass spray painted..." Sasuke growled.

"Hey! That's a work of art!" He naturally defended his mischievous prank, swearword, caricature, graffiti art.

—_Because of course, it's your marked territory_.— Kyuubi smartly remarked. The blond ninja casually flicked back the insult. /_Fuck off_./

"But, uh, what about the bar? What did we do there?" Hinata asked, her eyes looked unsure. He decided to put a smile on her face. "Drink?" Sasuke snorted before cuffing the back of his head. Hinata snorted herself, which actually freaked him out a bit. Weren't girls supposed to giggle?

—_Don't girls also have tits by the age of seventeen? I've never seen any on that pink bitch_.— Great, now the damn giant fur ball was trash talking Sakura-chan! /_Shaddap, ya mingy fuck_./ —_Oooh, grouchy are we?_— Kyuubi purred back, claws raking the floor as he stretched out in malicious fashion. /_Go lick your furry balls somewhere else!_/ Kyuubi growled and sent him a nasty headache that lasted for about four seconds.

Naruto popped back to reality in a rush.

"-mal, he always spaces out-" Sasuke was babbeling, talking bullshit about himself as always. Who was the bastard actually talking about?

"So, … What happened after we 'drank' at the bar? Naruto, can you remember anything?" Hinata air quoted 'drank', copying his earlier dopy joke. Sasuke shot him a glare, as if saying 'if you're not telling me what happened and you know what happened then YOU. ARE. DEAD.'.

He stuck his tongue out at the drama queen and thought through the previous nights events. Bar, Hinata's face up close, bastard dropping drinks, fat bloke yelling 'paichezzzz', breasts, curvy, painful ass, thrusting, kissing, -"wanking." Naruto breathed, his eyes wide with disbelief. Bastard and Hinata were giving him looks.

"What?" They said in unison. It made both of them look at each other and then back at Naruto. They both blushed. Some kind of black haired, pale skinned, telepathy.

Kyuubi found a good moment to pop up and comment. —_Easier to fuck them harder_.— Naruto scowled at the mattress. /_Will you shut up? You're not my fucking grandmother!_/ The fox growled. —_That's because you've never had one_.— Ouch. That stung. /_Not!_/ Kyuubi 'harrumpf'ed and finally backed off. 'I hope.' he thought, sincerely wanting the demon to shut the fuck up thankyouverymuch, and that he could stay out of his business for the rest of the day.

"Wanking ..." Hinata mumbled, snapping Naruto back out of his flops a daisy with the fox. Her cheeks were a faint pink.

"I didn't ... You know," She gestured to him and Sasuke-bastard, then made circling motions to the bed. Her cheeks turned darker. "do it in, ... In front ... -of you two?"

—_It certainly would have been entertaining_.—

/_Fuckyou!_/

And suddenly Naruto understood why Hinata was having a hard time getting the words out. When he'd said 'wanking' she must have thought that she gave them some sort of masturbation show. His cheeks turned dark red. He looked at the bastard. His eyebrows were VERY high up his forehead and his mouth was drawn in a small 'o' shape, and he was blushing. Darkly.

Damn, he shoulda taken a picture if he had the chance, it would have been excellent blackmail for later.

Naruto nervously laughed, though he thought that it sounded more like a whimper. He quickly waved his hands in cancelling motions, still feeling hot in the face.

"Of course not! I- … I think so, I mean… I don't really remember much from last night, except- except for-" —_You being done up the ass by the Uchiha_.— His cheeks turned red. "_forfeelingreallygood!_" The blond blurted out at the end, blue eyes scrunched up as a secret flew out of his mouth. He peeked a look; see their reactions. Sasuke and Hinata were staring at him, gobsmacked, though Hinata looked happier than the two.

The black haired girl placed her hand on her chest, between her breasts -meant as an innocent gesture, but Jiraiya's pervyness made him think stupidly. "I, um, … I also felt really good. I mean, I liked last night." Sasuke didn't seem to be buying it. "Uh, with both of you..." She went quiet and looked at her knees. Or maybe not, it was hard to tell with her fringe covering her eyes when her head was bowed. Sasuke seemed a bit shocked.

The blond picked up on the Sasuke-ese body language going on and deciphered it easily enough. 'Please let her not be a groupie, please for the love of God...' seemed to radiate off of the asshole. Ack! Bad words! ... Seemed to radiate off of the prick.

—_You're fucked, brat. You and the Uchiha mounted a Tracker. You'll be hunted for the rest of your lives_.— Kyuubi's comment left him with actual curiosity. /_What do you mean fur ball? Mounted a Tracker? Hunted for the rest of our lives? What the fuck?_/

"Well," The smug bastard was talking. Wait. Smug? Sometimes he read his emotional state too easily to instantly figure out if it was good or bad. Sasuke had his arms crossed and a very superior look splattered all over his handsome face. Ack! Sasuke? Handsome? What the fuck! Okay, well, he did look nice, but eh, fuck! What did Sasuke do to him last night?

"This settles the future of the Uchiha clan."

Naruto and Hinata stared gobsmacked at him.

Fucking **bastard**!

Hinata scowled, it was actually quite frightening; with the bulging veins of her bloodline limit producing from her face as she sent sparks of death rays towards his teammate. She punched the mattress with vehemence. Her next words really took him by surprise.

"Fuck you Uchiha! I'm not going to be a breeding bitch for ANYONE! ESPECIALLY -_YOU_-!"

Sasuke leered at her. "I like your attitude. You sure you don't wanna? I could even include Sakura for you." Naruto felt like punching Sasuke for mentioning Sakura-chan as if she were a whore and for saying that Hinata was a lesbian.

Hinata beat him to the punch. Literally.

Her fists was drawn back so quickly, covered with wispy silver chakra, striking for the bastard's nose. "Ha ha! Feisty are we?" Sasuke, -fucking smug bitch- had stopped her punch, -his hand holding her wrist- staring at her fist in front of his face. Hinata smirked. "Juuken." Was all she said. Sasuke's black eyes widened dramatically, realising his mistake just that itty bitty too late. Hinata watched with delight as chakra shot forward from her knuckles and cannon balled Sasuke-teme off the side of the bed. A loud thud and a groan indicated that the dick wouldn't be resurfacing for a while.

Naruto gulped.

The black haired girl turned to him, the look in her eyes and body posture completely different. She seemed, … desperate. Well, not like the 'I want sex badly' desperate, but more like the 'I need you to hear me through' desperate.

"Naruto, …" She mumbled, her eyes looking a bit shiny. God, she wasn't going to cry was she? —_No way, not after all the hardcore sex that she endured last night. The Uchiha screwed her a new one_.— He turned red but nodded to her, trying to encourage her to go on while he was having a discussion in his head.

"Last night, we had sex, lots of sex. I won't lie by saying that I didn't like it because I did." Her face turned pink, both of their cheeks did. She continued, trying to get past the embarrassing part. "And, … in the Hyuga clan, sex before marriage is illegal. If Haishi -my dad- ever got wind of this he would strip me of my privileges, disown me and publicly humiliate me." She bit her lower lip, twiddling with the corner of Sasuke's duvet cover. Naruto however, was in shock. Hinata had to endure with a family like that for all of her life? She looked so vulnerable. Her house was a death trap. If the black haired girl ever did something out of line, she'd get hell for the simplest of mistakes. Naruto realised that he wasn't the only one living a difficult life. Hinata gained new found respect in his heart. "In the Hyuga clan, the words 'public humiliation' mean something entirely different than just putting me on the spot in front of a crowd." She shivered, hardly daring to look up anymore. Naruto absently shuffled closer to drape an arm over her shoulder, rubbing her upper arm with his thumb, telling her to go on.

She let out a wail and turned and hugged him. He let out a gasp, but let her stay like that, as long as she didn't go anywhere near his pillow. "Public humiliation means being sealed in front of all of the Hyuga, even those bound by marriage!" The blond ninja felt a few wet tears trickle down his chest as she shivered. "And, … and then he'll go after the lovers," She looked up, two lone tear tracks streaking down her pretty face. "you." Hinata mumbled.

"And why's that so bad?" Sasuke grunted and appeared from the right side of the bed, a light bruise on his right cheek. Naruto wondered what had gotten into the bastard, but sure as hell was he glad that he'd snapped out of it.

"Because!" She wailed, arms flailing by her sides as she turned to look at him. "He'll saw off your dick and target your balls with the clan's archer unit!"

Naruto and Sasuke had a very bad, identical, fit of very misplaced laughter.

"But it's true!" Hinata seemed to hiccup and blurt out a giggle at the same time. "He'll- he'll go after you! He's a politician, he'll wreck your lives. He'll blame it on something like rape!"

Naruto froze mid-laugh. His blue eyes were wide. "He wouldn't would he?" Hinata nodded her head. "Even if you're sexually abused, you're still gonna be faced with public humiliation." An uncomfortable silence followed. Sasuke groaned and ran his hands through his black hair. "Is there any way to overcome this situation?" They all sighed at the same time. The blond felt like jinxing the moment, but brushed off his childish habits. "There is a way, … But I'd rather not do it." Sasuke and Naruto looked up at her troubled face. "What is it Hinata? You're not gonna like, sacrifice yourself right?" She laughed. Sasuke punched him. Damn bastard.

"No, but it's a bit like that." Hinata looked at both of them with an unhappy look on her face. The blue eyed ninja knew that look. She didn't want to do whatever it was that she had to do. She drew in a deep breath, calming herself. Sakura-chan also did that a lot when she was angry at him. "I'd have to become the clan leader and change the rules to our benefits." He was shocked. She would have to take over to free herself? He perked up, noticing the word 'we'. But it was Hinata that was in the most danger, she could accidentally get pregnant with Sasuke's —_or yours_.— baby. Oh God. What if Hinata had gotten preggo?

"Hinata!" He screeched, startling both. Sasuke-teme looked ready to punch him again. "What if you get pregnant?" She gasped, those sparkly opal eyes widening, looking down at her stomach. All three looked at her stomach in fear.

Pregnant. A baby.

Naruto couldn't help it when tears sprung up in his eyes. A baby. A family. He instantly felt slightly jealous, he had never had a family to call his own, it was a pick and mix. Sasuke WAS his brother, well, not really anymore now, … Sakura was his annoying and temperamental older sister, Kakashi was an old fart of an uncle, Iruka was his older brother and Jii-chan was his grandfather. But now, … Hinata was added into his pick 'n' mix family. She was, … his, urgh, … Girlfriend?

Hinata gasped, her eyes widening, as if she'd just sensed something. She blushed. "Bathroom!" She sprung off the bed in a flash, her long shiny black hair whipping him in the face as she passed him. He felt a tinge of fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He and Sasuke exchanged a look before he got up and bolted after Hinata, grabbing his boxers on the way. (They had rather embarrassingly landed on the door handle.) "Hinata!" He chased after where she'd gone to. A right, down a small hallway and a left, flinging the door open. "Hinata! Are you OK?" _Ohmyfuckingfuck_! Kyuubi chuckled in a 'you deserve it' way. —_That's what you get for walking in without permission, brat_.— His face turned pink.

Hinata had hoisted up the side of the wrapped up duvet cover to show off the whole of her left leg and upper thigh. She was staring at a trail of blood leaking down her inner thigh. Her head whipped up and she turned red, embarrassed and slightly angry. "Ack! Naruto!" Her leg vanished in the layers of the cloth. Sasuke appeared right behind him in the doorway. RIGHT behind him. He was wearing nothing but his shorts. His chest was pressed against his back, his crotch brushing against his backside, his hot breath ghosting down his neck. His hands were planted against the sides of the doorframe. Naruto's cheeks turned a rosy red at the intimacy. Sasuke acted like he didn't know what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" Sasuke grumbled. The blond guessed that the bastard thought that it must have been some stupid girly angst thing. Hinata turned pink and looked at her toes, which were peeking out from Sasuke's duvet. She mumbled. "Period." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What?" Hinata's eyes snapped up angrily and glared at the bastard. "My period just came alright!" Naruto's face turned red. He'd had sex education alright. Sasuke seemed unfazed, lucky bastard. "And why is that so important?" Hinata's opal eyes narrowed. He shivered. She sure had perfected the Hyuga Death Glare.

"When a woman bleeds, she's getting rid of all the fertile eggs in her body. Don't you understand?" Hinata's face was red and he felt like a fucking roasted beacon of red blush. Hinata waved a hand around. "I can't get pregnant! I need to have fertile eggs to get pregnant, but I'm currently in the cycle of getting rid of them!" It suddenly dawned to the spiky haired ninja, his blue eyes widening dramatically. "_You-I'm not pregnant_!" They said at the same time, their voices mixing with each other's.

Hinata smiled. He felt slightly heartbroken. No family, no baby.

But, at least this didn't complicate their- her situation. —_Kill her father and mate with her until you are sure that she's carrying your child_.— Kyuubi purred, stretching behind his cage. Just as Naruto was about to retort with something nasty -_you can't say much, you haven't had any for years!_- , somebody arrived at the Uchiha compound door.

**BANG BANG BANG!**

_Ohholyfuck_! He was too young to die!

"SASUKE-KUN? ARE YOU IN THERE?" Sakura yelled, knocking again. Really, that girl didn't even know her own strength.

Sasuke's black eyes were wide and frantic. "Hide!" He hissed, calling a reply before stalking off to his room and taking a shirt with him along the way. "Coming!" The bastard lazily yelled, slipping on a loose, acceptable-to-be-seen-wearing-in-the-morning, shirt. Naruto turned to look at Hinata, but only saw where she had once stood. He could hear a quick, light, patter of footsteps which must have belonged to her. Sasuke passed the bathroom scowling at him and hissing another 'Hurry up!'. He ran to the bedroom and briefly passed him on the way, she was slipping on her shirt, her underwear and trousers miraculously already on.

He reached the bedroom, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible, noticing the wide open windows and the bed covers and pillows back to their original places. He heard Sasuke open the door and Sakura walk in, both his teammates exchanging greetings. Naruto scurried around the room, picking up all of his things and trying to quickly put them on like Hinata had done. He had to dive under the bed -with clothes in tow- when he heard Sasuke and Sakura coming close to the door.

Naruto was stuck under the bastard's luxurious king-size bed, waiting with bated breath, feeling the adrenaline pumping through him. It felt like an incredibly exciting game of Hide and Seek, but with massive repercussions. He wondered where Hinata was hidden; under a bed, on a ceiling in a dark room, or behind the shower curtains?

All he could hope for was that Sakura-chan would be gone very soon and that she wouldn't find Hinata. He could hear a faint voice in the distance, along with the footsteps, the vibrations spreading through the floor. It was Sakura, asking something to Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun, what's this? Isn't that blood?"

Naruto's blood froze.

Sakura had found Hinata.

* * *

><p>(-•—_—\•-)

**End!**  
>Mwa ha ha! Evil end to the chapter to keep readers reading! Evil cliffhanger is evil. Anyway, what do you guys think of this, no-shy Hinata with a bit of a spunky attitude? :D I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make Sasuke react to her, but I thought that chapter two -ahem, the, LEMON cut off chapter- was my best ever Sasuke POV ever. EVER!<p>

I'm sorry if some people don't like the gayness! Sorry! (_bows multiple times_) If you're just here for NaruHina or SasuHina and not for SasuNaru, then you can still enjoy the other pairings. Hey, it's a threesome, what can I say? ;)

**Summerss, my new story Team Gay, Asshole and Panda, is dedicated to you! :D (and all the rest of you guys!) You really helped encourage me to write another threesome pairing. Thanks a million.**

IMPORTANT! I'm putting up a Poll on my profile, it's about this story, so please go and vote! :D (It's just a random thing that I just came up with!)

**Words:** 4, 344 _(Woohoo! Long chapter! -for me-)_  
><strong>Next Chapter:<strong> Get the Hell Out of My House! _(I think?)_


	4. Trail To Hell

_**Thank you to:**__** Hinata-Hime-Starz, winterkaguya, Aeon Aurora, xxLady Supreme and Tealmoon95 () Summerss, Hello131, The-Twinkle-In-Your-Eye, Happy Bryce, StarDustX, deadrose42, lovie345, REiNa HExE, escalypse, Kanarekana, HiN4-cH4n, animegirl19962011 and friendlyforever.**_

_We have Hinata POV now, because we've already had Sasuke, Sasuke and Naruto, so it's just fair that we'll have her now! But, seeing as it would be a good opportunity, I'll have snippets of Sasuke POV in here. :D Also, I am very fed up with the way that Fan Fiction is changing the way I write my stories. The website always makes it look like I'm writing very small paragraphs and then going onto the next small sentence. So I'm writing much longer and unnecessary paragraphs, and I'm also advising you to switch the story format to 3/4 or 1/2. _

_**I HATE PERIOD! ;A; THIS IS FEMALE SPARTAAAAAAAA! **__;A; ;A; ;A; (Anyone ever notice how in the Ecchi mangas the girls NEVER get their PMS?)_

**Chapter 04: Trail to Hell / Get The Hell Out Of My House!**

**(Hinata)**

"Sasuke-kun, what's this? Isn't that blood?"

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit,_shit_!

Oh God, this wasn't good. Sakura had found her blood. Her cheeks burned as the dark haired girl had to fight down a splutter. Her **PERIOD** blood. That was certainly going to the top of her _'Never Want to Happen Again'_ list, along with the time Kiba had found her underwear (a black silk one too, with lace around the edges) in his travelling bag. After he had thoroughly inspected, examined and sniffed it.

Hyuga Hinata was currently stuck in the worst, and most awkward, situation of her young life. Last night she had gotten outrageously drunk and had participated in a sex marathon longer than several porn films, not even clearly remembering half of it, and then waking up with two boys that weren't even from her team! (Well, the upside of it was that she'd fucked Naruto, but hey, that's beside the point.) And before she could even ask to God if her day was going to get worse, the final member of Team Seven showed up at the doorstep. Great, just absolutely, fucking _PERFECT_. Hinata winced, wanting to shift from her position, release to building ache in her muscles, to relax. But she couldn't, she knew that she couldn't. This was a very dangerous game of Hide and Seek. Luckily for her though, hiding and finding was her expertise, and not Sakura's. She _was_, after all, a highly qualified tracker.

Sakura was good at chakra control (she was too) breaking bones and medical stuff. She and Sakura were on a completely different league. There was just no way that you could compare a tracker to a healer's skills, and vice versa. Ofuck. Sakura, medical stuff, blood. Fuck, fuck, fuck. If Sakura got the chance to inspect it -Hinata cringed, that was just disgusting- she could easily find out that a woman had been in the house not even a few minutes ago. She had to somehow get the message across to Sasuke, before Sakura decided to take a closer look at the red blob on the wooden floor. Sasuke's cool and clipped tone vibrated off the walls, letting her eavesdrop on their conversation. "I have no idea what you are talking about Sakura, what did you come here for?" Two light footsteps, Hinata dared to activate her Byakugan. Sakura had turned to look at Sasuke, a silvery looking blush on her cheeks. (The Byakugan only had black, white, silver and blue vision, damnit.)

Hinata peeked a bit further, searching for Naruto. She had to stifle a sigh of relief. He was safe, half naked and sprawled under Sasuke's big bed. Hinata bit back a grunt and adjusted her muscles, fighting against the spreading pins and needles shooting up her forearms. After she'd passed Naruto, she'd tripped over her own feet and sprained her ankle. She'd had to remove her -already torn- shirt to wrap it around her ankle, seeing as she didn't want to make any noise by tearing a sleeve off. She'd then half hobbled, half skipped around various rooms, ending up where she was now. She was hidden in a second bathroom, which was much smaller, located next to a storage room piled with cardboard boxes and furniture. Hearing the door open and Sakura cheerily say "Hello Sasuke-kun!" the black haired girl had jumped behind the shower curtains and stuck to the wall with chakra, hidden in the corner. It was dark in the room, but she could see from the faint glow produced by her active Byakugan.

"Sasuke-kun, …" Sakura mumbled, her emerald green eyes on the Uchiha's pale face, a silver blush on her cheeks. She shuffled a bit closer, then she seemed to realise what she was doing and stood firm and frowned with a buoyant look on her face. "I was looking for you and Naruto! The dumb blond wasn't home so I came here! It is rather surprising Sasuke-kun, I always thought that you were a morning person." Hinata's special eyes picked up Naruto miming a growl from under the bed. His eyes registered as blue orbs in her chakra seeking eyes. He must be sending chakra to his eyes or something. Hm. Maybe he could enhance his eyesight as well? It was possible, there were people who could do special tricks to their eyes, doujutsu (eye jutsu) didn't constantly rotate around the Hyuga clan. (Hee hee, funny pun!) Sasuke tactfully changed the subject, leading her to the kitchen. "How's your ankle? You sprained it didn't you?" She had? Man, she sure must've been out of it last night.

Sakura stood her ground, not leaving the hallway. She smiled and lightly slapped her outer thigh. "You know me, I'm a medic, I healed it myself." She let out a giggle. Hinata suddenly felt jealous of the pink haired girl. How she wished she could just simply summon a green blob and heal the stinging pain in between her legs. Sasuke looked like he could just about start twitching his eyebrows at her. Hinata sharpened her vision, sure that Sakura wasn't a sensory type. Even then, she could counter it, she had done so in the past while training with Shino. —_ACK_! Sakura's head whipped up and turned in her general direction, her colourless eyes narrowing. Hinata couldn't stop the gasp forming on her lips, or silence it. Damnit! Sakura could sense her chakra! She had to get away! The black haired girl deactivated her doujutsu and cursed herself.

"Sasuke-kun, did you also feel that?" Damn, Sakura was onto her. Though thankfully she sounded uncertain. "What? No, I didn't." Sasuke lied. He was a good lair, she even doubted if he had felt her chakra.

-/-/-/-/-/-

Of course he had felt the damn girl's chakra! He just had to be thankful that Sakura was not a sensory ninja and that she was just good at picking up tiny bits of stray chakra that were very near to her. The Hyuga must be spying on them, checking what was going on. She must be close. Frustratingly enough, Sakura wasn't buying it. Damn stubborn girl. The dumbass was probably hidden somewhere nearby as well. Why of all people did he have to end up with a spunky stalker and a hyperactive perv in bed? Sakura looked at that very insulting red pinprick of blood on his floor. He had to shake her off.

One option was kissing her, but he didn't like her that way, she was too annoying to make out with. She'd take it as his eternal love message or some bullshit fluff like that. And then she'd tell everyone that he and her were going out. The other option was kicking her out of his house, but then that'd also have bad consequences. She'd most likely spy around his house, and then sprout an excuse like _'Oh, hey Sasuke-kun, I think that I left my headband at your place'_. So that left him with one last option. He would have to lie through his teeth and make sure that Sakura didn't find last night's sex buddies, without even knowing where they'd hidden themselves. He was SO going to kill them after he'd gotten rid of Sakura.

Hinata had to somehow get out of the bathroom without Sakura noticing, hide her embarrassing blood stains from view, and scamper out of the house, maybe bring Naruto along with her, and hide from the suspicious Haruno for the rest of the day. Incredibly easy? _Hell no_. Exceptionally difficult? _Very much so_. Sasuke and Sakura were having their conversation a few feet away from the bathroom. If Hinata were to go out of the bathroom, she would be in direct view of the two of them, and it would instantly be over. Sasuke had to lure her away from the hallway, preferably lead her into the kitchen and close the door, and keep her in there for a good few minutes. Maybe he could make out with her. No, rather not actually. She knew that Naruto wouldn't be too happy with that and she'd rather not have her first sex experience ruined by the guy she'd lost her virginity to -several times- shag another girl not even ten hours afterwards.

She grunted and watered down the amount of chakra running through her vessels, sending most of it circulating through her body. She silently slid down the wall, landing in the bath tub, holding her breath. She was going to use the new technique that Kurenai tought her. _The Camouflage Skin_ jutsu. Hinata closed her eyes and focused on the jutsu. It was a rather complicated one where the user had to keep a constant cycle of chakra going through their bodies. The chakra would work it's way to the skin's surface, emitting the transparent gas/ liquid over the body, which would cover the user in a camouflaging skin, turning invisible to the naked eye.

Hinata slowly opened her eyes, flexing her hands and looking at them with glowing eyes. She was covered in chakra.

It was time to go.

She silently stepped out of the bathtub, thankful that the door was slightly open, so that no noise was made if she opened it herself. She was going to hide with Naruto, he was perfectly safe under the bed. She held her breath as she crept along the hallway, tip toe-ing past Sasuke as he talked to Sakura. There was a massive knot in her bowls, as if she desperately needed to shit, tension, anticipation and adrenaline running through her veins, along with her chakra. Sasuke sighed and ran his hand through his hair -an act which made Sakura blush lightly, he knew- and glanced in her direction. His eyes shone red for a moment before they turned black again. And then the Uchiha was talking with Sakura, saying how the dumb blond must have somehow fallen asleep in a cardboard box or something of the like.

She nearly sighed a sigh of relief, but she couldn't, she knew that for sure. Sakura could maybe hear her. And so, the Hyuga crept on, foot after carefully placed foot, until she turned the corner and finally reached her destination; Sasuke's room and the previous night's Love Shack. Suddenly her throat felt tight, constricted. A pang of pain shot through her chest- did she really want to return to that room? Couldn't she just push something as dangerous as that under a rug and forget about it, let it taunt her in her dreams? No! She couldn't! She faintly shook her head back and forth, wanting to shake out the stupid and absurd thoughts from her head. She carefully placed her hand on the door knob, about to turn and push it open, when she heard footsteps. "… !" She had to hide!

"Sasuke-kun? Can I have a tour? I've never really seen your house before." Hinata felt like growling. What a shoe licker! Sasuke was her's and Naruto's! Wa— _uh?_ Sasuke had _claimed _her and Naruto-kun, but that didn't mean that he could go around pimping the place! Hinata suddenly felt an urge, a great urge. To walk up behind Sakura and flip the bird at Sasuke. She didn't though, she had to hide with Naruto-kun! As soon as she'd whizzed in and closed the door behind her, did she breathe a sigh of relief and frustration. Naruto was still hidden under the bed, thank God. She dropped to her hands and knees, peeking at him. He was unaware of her; she was still camouflaged. She crawled under the bed with him, making him stifle a gasp. She gently poked him and let the jutsu fall. "It's me, Naruto-kun."

Naruto smiled at her.

Somehow, _SOME_-HOW, they had started kissing. For fun. It had started with Naruto smiling at her, eyes a bit drowsy, cheeks a faint pink from hiding his breath. His shirt was nowhere in sight, he hadn't had the time to put it on. Her top was also gone; torn to shreds from the sex night and tied around her half sprained ankle. His fingers trailed up her outer thigh, reaching her hip, trailing over her waist. Blue eyes, unabashed, -he'd seen it all before- staring at her bra, how her chest moved, the slim waist. His fingers reached her arm, which he held and pulled closer to, faces meeting in the middle. Lust, kissing, mouth, lips, awkward tongue in her mouth, hands on her, her hands on him. Reassurance, did last night really happen? Did they really feel something for the other, was this a dream or a nightmare, if so, what had happened to them? Her hands taking his, placing them on her chest, he'd wanted to try but was unsure, she told him that it was okay, he moved closer, hands grabbing, copping, fondling— feeling.

She, laying next to him, on her side, looking into his eyes that reminded her of the sea. Eyes so blue that they looked turquoise. Troubled moment, flashed across her face, he saw it, pulling in for a hug, telling her it was going to be all right. Courage, first small, then growing. Hinata was going to tell him. Tell him her deepest secret, that she loved him, —His smile saved her.

She told him.

His blue eyes were wide; no one had ever confessed their love to him. His mouth parted, probably going to reject her, strange, reject her when they were in a threesome? Was he gay?

"Hinata,"

Blam!

The door opened with an almighty slam as the door knob slammed against the wall, leaving a dent in the alabaster. "I swear that I heard noises coming from here!" Sakura shrilly screeched, only her feet visible from under the bed. "Sakura! Get out!" Sasuke thundered, quite clearly pissed off. The girl turned around. "But Sasuke-kun! I _heard _something!" She wailed.

"Well then it was probably something we didn't need to hear." Sasuke's voice came in a clipped tone. "What?"

"Maybe it's true that my house is haunted."

Pause. What was happening?

The last sentence had Haruno Sakura squealing and running out of the house, as if she had just seen a ghost.

"And I thought that she was the Genjutsu type." Sasuke muttered.

Naruto burst out laughing.

Hinata giggled and felt like their special moment could be continued later, if at all.

_END CHAPTER!_

_Can I just say that I really love all these lovely reviews I'm getting? (haha, u can't say no cos u have to read on!) They really do inspire me to write on! ,,,U,,, But sometimes you get stuck on a certain part in the story and you just give up on it, and you start to think 'could I do a skip and do a couple of flashbacks?'. Those are bad thoughts! You should keep going on, just wait a while until it finally comes to you, maybe write something else for a while, new story, and then continue writing! For example: _

_I was having a hard time writing the 'Hinata in bathroom' scene, so I stopped for a while and improvised a bit. I then wrote the story "Team Gay, Asshole and Panda!" just to write something else for a while, and then I just wrote nothing for a while and then… BOOM! I started writing like crazy! :DDD_

_**SasuHina2327**__— Ha ha! No! Sasuke isn't a homosexual! Ha ha! God no! (don't worry, I'm not laughing at you) The thought of Sasuke being a 'homo' is weird, it kinda doesn't CLICK in my mind yu'know? Sasuke is more, … Kind of bisexual. He doesn't really see Naruto as a guy-guy, he seems him as an idiot, a dumbass, his rival, friend, someone close to him. But Hinata sees Naruto as a guy-guy, but also as someone who never gives up. I hope this helped you._

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